When Dogs Attack

Sometimes there are nightmares and waking up in fear that they are real. But wait, they are real, I replay in my dreams what happened to my daughter and stuff I experienced when I was an EMT in one of the most crime ridden cities in the US, Tampa FL.

A few nights ago I stayed in a hotel in a very small town in eastern CO, it's the very town I go to nursing school in. I chose this school 105 miles away from my home because the school did not have a long waiting list like many others and this nursing program is one of the best in the state. Me and 3 other girls stayed overnight Sat in this small town because we had clinicals 2 days in a row.

 The night we slept in the hotel I kept having nightmares and waking up every hour or so. I am a lucid dreamer and can usually control my dreams but when I have these nightmares I can not.

I see my daughter's ripped up face over and over again. The blood allover her and our sidewalk. I see her telling me she's thirsty over and over because she was going into hypovolemic shock due to the blood loss. The dog had severed a few arteries in her face. With every heartbeat blood would spurt out of her face onto the dishtowel I had covering her face. I can see me yelling at the 911 dispatcher to hurry up with the medics and yelling at her that I know how to stop bleeding I used to be an EMT but you can't stop my daughter's bleeding because there is no more tissue left to apply pressure.

I wake up sweaty, nauseous and confused when I have these types of dreams. PTSD will play tricks with your mind. Sometimes when I catch myself daydreaming I relive my daughter lying in her hospital bed in the ER waiting for her 4 hour surgery with her face wrapped up like a mummy and blood seeping through her bandages.

Meagan in the ER waiting for surgery.

Sometimes the PTSD makes me relive what she looked like the next day after her surgeries. She had several surgeries at once in the OR. Her poor face was swollen and bruised and she had upwards of 1200 stitches in her face (inside and out). The dog had crushed her orbital bone (eye socket) and tore off parts of her nose and her upper lip. 

Meagan morning after her attack

It is amazing what we are faced with every day and how much other people suffer because of someone's carelessness. I have no ill will against pit bulls but I am very cautious of them after this has happened to my angel. A few days before her attack my daughter (then 6) asked if she could have a piggy bank to save money in to donate to charity for kids that don't have anything. This is the kind of kid she is, thoughtful and caring. 

This is why I am in nursing school, to help others and reach out and maybe in my spare time even stop other dog attacks from happening like this to others.